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                                                           Rain
                                                       by Sarah


         It had never rained this hard before. Not here. Water was pooling around our bodies, mixing with our blood and all the while I couldn’t help but think, how could it have gotten so bad?

         My body trembled constantly and I realized quickly that there was no escaping the pain. No one was here to save us.

         I shut my eyes and buried my face in his chest, listening for his heartbeat. It was so light compared to my own. “I’m sorry” I whispered into the cold night air, my hands shaking as I wrapped them around his waist trying to bring him closer as if that would save us. “I can’t... I couldn’t…” He was so cold.

        “No… not…” he rasped as if he was fighting for breath, his arms gripping mine almost painfully. Then all of a sudden his body was jerking violently against mine and he was seizing and there was nothing I could do.

        I clung to him, desperately holding onto him even when his thrashing became so bad that it was hurting me. I tried so hard to calm him but I don’t think he could hear anything but my sobbing. He was dying and I knew it.
©2008-2009 ~Shikyo-Koinu
:iconshikyo-koinu:

Author's Comments

Renamed and Respaced for convienance.

This is the FIRST PART in a SERIES. Go here for the next part:

Part Two:
[link]


This is something I wrote awhile ago that I've been rather partial too. I hope you all like it as much as I do! ^^

Story (c) Sarah

Comments


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:iconcandledance:
You might want to continue, if you want to let anyone know what's actually going on. We don't know what there relationship is, we don't know what just happened, we don't know why they're bleeding and what caused the boy dying.

It could be a prologue, but as a short story in itself, it's not very effective. We just don't have a reason to pity the couple, because we don't understand what's going on.

--
"Take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Take a flying fuck at the moon."
:iconshikyo-koinu:
Well it never really started out as being anything other than a moment in the character's lives, an emotion (attempted at being) captured in a couple sentences. An extended drabble of sorts (and a bit of a writing excersize). I thought about turning it into an event in a story I was working on but I dumped the story.

Thank you for your insight though ^^

--
Watch me crumble,
Watch me die,
Watch me drown before your eyes: [link]
If it was only a dream: [link]
:iconcandledance:
No problem ^_^

--
"Take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Take a flying fuck at the moon."
:iconjuxtaposition-ashley:
woah this is soo deep and marvelous! please continue!
:iconshikyo-koinu:
Thank you! I'm glad you like it! ^^

I'm thinking of maybe making a series of drabbles for this, we'll see what happens.

--
Watch me crumble,
Watch me die,
Watch me drown before your eyes: [link]
If it was only a dream: [link]
:iconjuxtaposition-ashley:
oh a series would be sooo cool! i love it!
:iconshikyo-koinu:
^_^ thanks!

--
Watch me crumble,
Watch me die,
Watch me drown before your eyes: [link]
If it was only a dream: [link]
:iconff7-genesis:
WOW!!! You should really really continue!!!! I would also like to draw a pic for this too if thats ok with you^^

--
This voice does not reach you
Opening your eyes, your face shows lies, and laughter
Words which you could not say
Now the place where you once sang
Everyone compared to you is loved
I have loved I have loved….

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May 14, 2008
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